Hello. Do take a seat. Get comfortable. We have something rather marvellous to share. Its a book. But not just any book, see. Though we do have other books. They’re rather marvellous too. We’ll get into those later. Not literally – though some do have a lot of depth. Others are a particularly heavy read, so we’ll have to leave them on the shelf.
I digress. The thing about this particular book is that it’s SPECIAL. You see, as a family of reading enthusiast, page connoisseurs and utter fiends of font – we have finally found THE Book. The Book to begin, middle and END all other books!! The greatest story ever told – and it must be enjoyed. It must be read. It must be shared. Every footnote. Every page number. Every comma, and fullstop. Fullstop. New paragraph.
Indent. Ah. You made it, good. So perhaps you think “the greatest story ever told” is a bold claim? Well, I’d say it’s not only bold, but also underlined and in italics. Yes, YES. This book sends tendrils and shivers running down our collective spines; binding us all together like a treasured home-made journal. Its pages weathered by exhilaration, tragedy and EXPLOSIVE JOY.
I remember when we found it. Long long ago, in a library far far away, our bookcase was under a lot of pressure. Positively creaking it was. When the woodwork collapsed and our literature fell to our heads, we only had ourshelves to blame. We should have spent more on its structural integrity… but our accountant had taken his instructions to “balance the books” a tad too literally. He can’t put them down now. His little quivering arms trembling with exhaustion.
And in that chaos, of muddied pages and discarded stories, a new tale was born. Pages and words married together in disaster. Characters and worlds from universes apart. In a heap of torn bindings and shattered covers, the loose pages became one. Like a beacon of questionably bound glory, shining in the silence, beckoning… crying out to be read! Wailing, screaming and laughing maniacally to be heard!!
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